There is little denying that Tech Decks are more than a wee bit lame. I mean, c’mon, it’s a skateboard that you ride with your fingers.
Of course, I had a pretty good lineup of finger boards when I was growing up, but they’ve been sitting in a shoe box back at mom’s house since high school (apart from the quick holiday session in the pool (aka sink)).
But playing with a Tech Deck isn’t what I’m talking about. Like Tech Decks? Fine. You’d be better off putting that time into actual skateboarding, but fine. Make videos of you and your friends Tech Decking? That’s cool too, especially if you make something like this Fully Flared-inspired Tech Deck video.
Basically, what I’m getting at is that Tech Decks are alright. Every skate nerd needs at least one. But what is really lame about them is the massive amount of crazy ridiculous blog posts that are geared towards Tech Deck riders. It’s hard to believe some of these babies are real.
The four Tech Deck blog posts below illustrate just what I’m talking about. At least they’re good for a hearty chuckle.
How to Impress People With a Tech Deck
WikiHow is well-known to have some of the most off-the-wall blog posts around and How to Impress People With a Tech Deck is definitely up there. A few of the best lines include:
“take your Tech Deck out during lunch at school” and “don’t overdo it with these or your friends will think you are a show off.”
Remember, kids, do it for the love, not because you want to impress other people…
How to Choose the Tech Deck Brand for You
Another gem from the folks at WikiHow, How to Choose the Tech Deck Brand for You is nearly as ridiculous as impressing people with your Tech Deck. Luckily, these dudes don’t actually mention a difference in quality of Tech Deck (we’ll get to that next), rather they lengthily discuss the pros and cons of different graphics choices.
For instance, step one in full, is:
“Remember your style. Do you like doing flip tricks all the time? Maybe Flip is the brand for you. Do you like hardcore? Then maybe a Dark-Star or Baker Tech-Deck is for you. Or maybe you're just a cool Tech-Decker? Then Birdhouse and Plan B are the ways to go. Once you move out of the novice stage Zoo York and Black Label are the best.”
Top Ten Best Tech Decks
The post Top Ten Best Tech Decks is where things really start to get ridiculous. While WikiHow focused on telling you what your graphic says about you, this blog post actually creates a thread on the “quality” of the boards themselves.
A few of the best reviews from real people include:
Plan B: “Good graphics, good concave, good pop, light decks, good griptape…”
Blind: “Blind is definitely the best Tech Deck at landing. Yo show them how a proper Tech-decker does it, and land the best tricks; you will be a master in no time.”
Flip: “Flip is simply the best because they are rely good to do the best tricks on they are madly perfect for all of the tricks get a flip with any trick you will be able to do all tricks with no confidence at all flips will get you to do all the tricks there is it will take any think you can throw at it.”
Seriously though, I barely notice a difference between actual skateboard decks from brand to brand…am I missing something?
Finger Board Trick Tips
By far the least lame blog post on this list (and that’s saying something), my favorite part about Finger Board Trick Tips is that it is on a website called “SK8boarding Ain’t a Crime.”
My favorite line, in the introduction to the ollie how-to, is:
“Okay, this is once again the most basic trick you can learn; and you gotta know it otherwise you'll suck more crap than the Backstreet Boys.”
Anyways, I always thought you just flung your fingers to see how many flips your Tech Deck could do. Guess it would actually be kind of cool to be able to know what trick you’re going to do before letting your fingers fly though.
Tech Decks are alright. These blog posts are lame. How many of you guys still “Tech Deck” on occasion? Ever been kicked out of a spot?
