How To Be A Kook

How To Be A Kook

Looking to make your presence known on the beach? Follow this handy-dandy guide and you'll be sure to be known to all the locals in no time. Whether or not that's a good thing on the other hand ...

1. Don't take a lesson

-Why pay for a surf lesson when you can just wing it? I mean, if you can skateboard and swim you MUST be able to surf. Don't listen to anyones "advice" either, you got this!

2. It's all about attitude

- If you can count on both hands how many times you've paddled out, you're ready. Time to spend that hard earned money on a brand new wetsuit and high-performance shortboard. Try wearing your suit inside out, the colourful lining will help people notice you.

3. Drag it

- Dragging your rented soft-top is the best way to say "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING!" Same goes for the leash, drop it. Actually, keep it on…

4. Saving time

- While walking the beach, leave the leash attached to your back foot. You'll save time and energy, you're just going to have to put it back on later anyway. Also it makes for a fun reflex test every time you accidentally step on it.

5. Wax on, Wax off

- Wax the bottom of your board, and complain to the surf shop lackey that it didn't make you go any faster. Need some grip for the top? Try rubbing sand on it.

6. How was it?

- Make sure to over emphasize everything. Rule of thumb: Take the actual size of the waves and times that by 2.5. Men will want to be you and women will want to be with you.

7. SICK!

- Commonly used surf terms, phrase and expressions are pointless in moderation, say them over and over. In fact, pick one and say it after every sentence. Even if it's out of context. (Example: "Can you please move your car?" - "Oh-SICK!")

8. Loud mouth

- If everyone in the lineup can't hear you talking about last night, you are not speaking loud enough. Let the world know how hot that chick was, even if they didn't ask.

9. Just like jail

- You've got to gain respect out there. Paddle for every wave, even if someone is already on it.

10. No time for fun

- Get mad about it all, the best surfer is the one who improves the fastest.

(REALITY CHECK - Do NOT follow this guide)

Psssttt ! Envoie-ça à ton ami!

PLUS DE NOUVELLES